Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
either way he was missing a nipple.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
