look no pants
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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