K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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