how can u be prego again
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
