fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
