Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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