porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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