Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
