their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
