he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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