i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
