I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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