Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
