please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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