Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
