i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
