you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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