So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
