When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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