I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
two words: eviction party
it glows. i had to have it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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