dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
