the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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