If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
