Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
