I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
