Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
