So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
