I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
