I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
