Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
