Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
