And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
