note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The feeling are messing with the penis
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
