just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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