He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
