On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
your like the ambassador to my penis.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
