her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
