is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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