I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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