a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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