i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
