dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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