We're facebook friends in real life
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
