so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I need to calm my uterus...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
