i would punch a child for taco bell
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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