We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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