After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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