So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
