just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
