like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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