I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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